Thursday, August 13, 2009

Lost

I recently read the book Lost by Gregory Maguire. Maguire is the author of Wicked and Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister, which I have also read. Lost is about haunting, in more than one sense of the word. It wasn't as good as the other two novels, but it has haunted me.

The main character in the book faces a ghostly haunting that seems to be a manifestation of her own haunted emotional state. She has fallen into a pattern of marking time, failing to move forward, because of the events of her past and emotions that she can't quite seem to acknowledge or let go of. She is stuck and she has lost herself.

I feel like that character. I have made several major life changes over the last few years, some by choice and some not, and I've lost myself somewhere in the shuffle. The fallout is more than I ever expected.

In the book, the word 'lost' applies in at least two ways: the character is lost, and she has lost (suffered loss). I don't think I would have understood this entirely if I were not in a similar state.

The main character in the book has something of a breakdown. I am not about to do that. And this doesn't mean that there is nothing good in my life. It's just that too much change too fast leaves you whiplashed. And lost.